LAST EDITED ON Jul-05-00 AT 08:01 PM (CST)
>Maybe I'm being dense but I
>guess I really don't know
>how H. is passed on,
>assuming there are no outbreaks
>anywhere. Contact with bodily fluids?
>Tissues in certain areas?
The virus can be shed from any areas of skin that are connected to an infected nerve. If you have genital herpes, then the virus could be shed from about your waist to your thighs. Transmission is from skin to skin contact. Sustained skin to skin contact with lots of friction is thought to make transmission more likely than just a quick touch.
Transmission is more likely to a mucous membrane, or to an opening in the skin, like a cut or scrape, or maybe an over-scrubbed area. Body fluids might contain virus if they passed over an area of skin that was shedding.
>
>I am positive for both HSV1
>and HSV2. I have never
>had an outbreak so I
>can't predict when I might
>have them or be possibly
>shedding.
>
>Here are my questions:
>
>1. First base: What are the
>real dangers of kissing? We
>kissed before I found out
>about my H. positive status
>(I told him right away!)
>and he doesn't have any
>interest in giving up kissing.
Assuming he has no herpes at all, and therefore no herpes-specific antibodies to protect him -
And assuming you have oral hsv1 and genital hsv2 -
There's a small chance of shedding hsv1 with no symptoms and passing it to him by kissing.
>
>
>2. Third base -- Second base
>is nice but jumping to
>third is more interesting 
>-- How can I touch
>him? (Wash my hands and
>don't touch myself? or does
>washing my hands have nothing
>to do with it? Put
>a condom on him? Gloves
>on myself?)
>
Wash your hands after you touch yourself to protect him from herpes. Soap and water will kill whatever virus is on the skin.
>3. How can he touch me?
>
>
Might be helpful to wash yourself first. Also, he should have no cuts, abrasions, cracks, etc. on his hands. A little contact is a little risk, and a lot of contact is more risk. Just a fingertip on a clit is less risky than inserting fingers without examining for symptoms (assuming you had some). Obviously, gloves would reduce risk. I don't know anyone who uses them.
>4. Oral sex... I know, big
>controversy and I've read the
>letters in the archive without
>a light bulb popping on
>over my head. How can
>I give him a blow
>job?
See #1 above - there's small chance of passing hsv1. Some do it with a condom. Probably not necessary here. His chances of getting genital hsv1 from a blow job are going to be the same with around 60-80% of the population. (again, assuming he doesn't already have hsv1).
Oral shedding is more likely when there are prodromal symptoms, when you have a cold, after a head or face injury or surgery. I suppose you could brush your teeth with a toothpaste that contains SLS (sodium lauryl sulfate) which kills the virus. Like washing first.
>
>5. How can he go down
>on me?
If he doesn't want to risk direct contact, then he could use dental dams or saran wrap. I've heard that some people actually use these things.
>
>6. Home Run: How can we
>have sex?
Things that reduce risk -
you wash before sex, he washes after. (ok, there's no rule that says you can't both wash before and after, and you can even wash each other).
use condoms
nonoxyl-9 (caution, some people are sensitive to this)
boxer shorts (honest) to reduce skin to skin contact.
hope I'm not forgetting anything.
oh yeah, **coming soon** antimicrobial gels, in place of condoms. Stay tuned for more info in the next year.
BTW, there are couples who do no more than refrain from sex during obs, and haven't transmitted. All the above precautions are not because you are always likely to transmit, but because there is a chance that once in a while you are likely to transmit.
Most people who test positive for herpes but have no history of symptoms can be taught to recognize subclinical symptoms. A few apparently have no symptoms. Stay alert, you may notice subtle changes.
Shedding rates vary - it tends to be more frequent in the first year or two, and it becomes less frequent over time, along with obs.
There are no guarantees, but I'm pretty sure it can be done. Be careful, and have fun.
windy
